On My Mend

The last few days

2010-01-21T23:02:00.005-05:00

I've been doing great on zee fitness front since Monday's post! Yes! Or did I even post on Monday? Je ne sais pas. I just checked back and see that I did not post about Monday's workout, which consisted of running to the Eaton Center North Goodlife, doing a Body Flow class (a combo of pilates, yoga, and tai chi), running for 3o minutes on the treadmill, and then walking home. I think the gym is less than 2k away from my place, but it was a great workout in total.

Just because it's nice to post pictures now and then, here's a shot from the other weekend in NYC. Lunch in Little Italy.

On Tuesday I played ultimate with my team. I played really badly. I don't know why I've been having bad games the last two weeks in a row. New field, perhaps? New structure of 5 on 5 instead of 6 on 6 could be it. Anyway, I need to run faster somehow, and also catch.

On Wednesday I didn't think I was going to be able to fit in my run 'cause I had lots of work to do and a plan for dinner and a musical (Rent.. again) later in the evening. Lo and behold, the sun was shining for the first of what seems like MANY days. So I ran outside! It was my first outdoor run in over a month and it felt great! The weather report said it felt like -12 outside, but I was dressed well and I felt fine. I might have to invest in a windbreaker/running jacket one of these days.

Today I went to Body Pump for a little weight lifting action. Then I came home and baked lousy cookies. Dang.

Alas, I've had a workout every day this week and I don't plan to stop there! Tomorrow - run. Saturday - Body Pump again if my muscles feel fine by then and/or run. Sunday - first game of DODGEBALL. Now that's a game I'm pretty sure I won't be good at. But we will soon find out.

Exercise: check; healthy eating: umm...

2010-01-17T22:06:00.002-05:00

I'm doing quite well with my fitness goals so far. This Friday I went to the gym and did another 30 minutes on the treadmill as well as some ab work. Then Saturday morning I did an hour long Body Pump class. Today I took a break.

Too bad I've been eating basically anything in sight. Must work on that. Check.

Back on the run after a month long hiatus!

2010-01-15T11:25:00.003-05:00

Yay, I'm back at it! I went for a run on the treadmill yesterday after not running for one whole month.

I ran for half an hour and my foot felt fine. Yes! I don't know what the problem was, but my suspicion is that I was walking around in these new high heel boots that were causing some damage to my foot. Does wearing heels affect running? Probably. I'm 6'0'' tall so I'm not the most frequent heel wearer, but ever since I got myself a tall boyfriend about 1 year 8 months ago, I've been dabbling in heels a bit more. I don't think they agree with me. That's fine, I guess. I'll wear my tall, expensive boots on special occassions and save my flats for regular wear.

Anyway, I did an easy 5.5 speed (whatever that means) run on the hill setting. In half an hour I think I only did about 2.75 miles but that's fine for a first run back. I didn't want to push it. Then I biked for twenty more minutes while watching horrible celebrity gossip on the gym television. I was going to add in some ab work but the tiny mat section was full so I gave up and went home instead.

It's amazing how going back to something I felt really good about has an immediate impact on my body image and my feelings generally. I was looking in the mirror, fearing that with each day missed of running, I was slowly heading back in the wrong direction. I ate whatever I wanted over the holidays so I'm sure my weigh-in on the 20th of the month won't be great, but at least I'm working out.

So my plan for the winter is basically to stick to indoor treadmill running, at least until it's a little less cold. 3o minutes max on a treadmill is fine with me. I'll add in a few Body Pumps each week, and hopefully some yoga and swimming too. Let's say I will run four times a week, and exercise six times a week.

I hate to be late!

2010-01-12T21:58:00.002-05:00

Back in action today after a mostly exercise-free weekend in NYC visiting my friend on her birthday. We did attend a workout class her local gym. It was pretty nice compared to my small gym here in Toronto. And the class which made use of the bosu half ball thingy, really did work me out. Other than that we just walked around the city a lot. And ate a lot.

Today, though, I had plans to meet some friends for sushi in the early evening. For some reason I thought taking the Spadina streetcar up to Bloor would make sense, but at 5:30pm, there's not a seat nor standing room to be had. Two cars passed me by before I decided to walk, and it was already 5:27.

I hate to be late!

So, I jogged there. Wearing my big ol' winter parka, my ultimate (frisbee) gear for a game later in the evening, and a floppy backpack, I jogged up Spadina from Dundas, all the way to Bloor, stopping once in a while to walk.

I haven't been running since December 13th. Oh, just about one month ago. I think I'm ready to get back to it. My foot felt fine today.

I also played ultimate and got a good workout though I had a horrible game! I hate when girls are faster than me. I suppose I could try working on some sprints or something to improve that. Suppose, suppose.

It is now 10:00pm and I'm thinking I will go to sleep now and wake up early to get to the gym. Time to bust a move, yeah?

Weekend Holiday!!

2010-01-07T18:59:00.002-05:00

I'm going on a trip! To New York City! To see my friend Randi and to have some fun.

This has been a not so hot week for exercise, but hopefully Randi and I will get some girly workout time in together at her NYC gym. Oooh la la. See ya on the flip side!

Indian food revenge

2010-01-05T18:02:00.003-05:00

Last night's Indian food woke me up this morning and kept me on my toes, or should I say, on the can, on and off all day. I was planning to do a good long cardio session this evening but instead I'm going to take this opportunity to relax and try to replenish lost fluids.

In other news, I was called away from work early to pick up my baby niece from daycare. She herself was having stomach issues and in daycare, three strikes means you're out. Apparently she doesn't do well with chicken. I picked her up and she was fine, so we enjoyed some play time at my place until her mom could come and get her.

Body Pump Monday!

2010-01-04T21:27:00.002-05:00

I started things off this first January Monday with a Body Pump class. For those out of the Goodlife Fitness loop, Body Pump is a one hour weight lifting class that targets all the major muscle groups. We do squats, chest, back, triceps, biceps, lunges, shoulders, and abs. It's set to music and pretty rad.

Today I felt shaky and much more tired than usual despite eating a decent amount of food during the day. I don't get it.

Then I went out for Indian food friends, and made up for any burned calories and then some. Mmm mmm Indian food.

Spending money and making commitments

2010-01-04T14:30:00.002-05:00

I went back to the office today after two weeks away. Bleh. Transcribing interviews leads to a number of things: excessive transcribing, random emailing, and of course, race registration.

Here's my official line-up for the 2010 season thus far:

April 3rd: Harry's Spring Run-off - 8K

May 2nd: Sporting Life - 10K

May 30th: Women's Half Marathon and 5K - 5K

July 18th: Gravenhurst Give-it-a-Tri - 400m swim, 20K bike, 2.5K run

September 26th: Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon - Half Marathon

I plan to register for a running clinic in June to prepare safely for the half, and hopefully to also meet some other runner's in the neighbourhood. Oooooh! Exciting stuff this is. Looks like I also need a race for August.

I mentioned yesterday some foot pain I was experiencing a few weeks ago. I have no idea what it was and I just left it alone and haven't been running since. It's feeling fine now, but I'm still afraid that I might have a stress fracture. I'm going to stick to the plan of laying off the running for the rest of the month, which will leave me two months to prepare for the 8K. No problem.

I think I've spent about $250 on the events listed above which is kind of steep considering the fact that my mortgage leaves me basically house poor.

Also, I got an email at the office today, offering a special employee discount at my current gym. Even as an existing member I can qualify for this special, which would mean paying the entire annual amount up front, but also saving $150 overall. I have to decide whether this is worth it.

Alright, back to work! Transcribing is such a dream...

A new beginning

2010-01-03T21:44:00.003-05:00

I haven't blogged in soooo long. But I've got some fresh motivation so let's see how it goes.

A basic recap: the knee is back in action! I began playing ultimate again this past Spring, and played it all through the summer. I also took up running, slowly training to do a 5k with the Couch to 5k program that I found on itunes, and then increasing up to a 10k race in October. I was running various distances 4 times a week up until two weeks ago when I had a pain in my foot that I couldn't explain. So I've been on a bit of a running hiatus over the holidays which is fine by me.

Since I started running and playing ultimate in June I lost 10 pounds, going down from a pretty high starting point of 180 to a very nice 170. At 6'0'', I find my average weight over the last decade or so has been about 173 so I'm doing alright. I was a bit lower than 160 two years ago

and felt really great, but I can't complain right now.

The best part for me about running has been the feeling of accomplishment and success as I slowly increase the distances and time that I run. There is so much that can be improved upon, and nothing is better than feeling improvements. Working towards that 5k goal, and then the 10k goal has been hugely inspiring.

So, the plan is to lay out some goals for this upcoming year.

January: I plan to let my foot heal by laying off the running for most of the month. I will be playing ultimate, lifting weights, doing my yoga-esque class at the gym, and hopefully get started with some spinning. Maybe I'll throw some swimming into the mix too. I aim for a total of 5 days of some kind of fitness a week.

February: Continue with the above, but add dodgeball to the schedule. Will that be a workout? Not sure. Dodgeball Sundays, Ultimate Tuesdays, and some other good stuff in and around that. Back to running. Hopefully my foot will be fine and I'll bring the running back.

March: Achilles St. Patrick 5k - March 14th.

April: Spring running, casual biking, swimming, and weights.

May: Begin Triathlon training. May Women's 5k.

June: Ride for Heart, tri training.

July: Tri-a-tri in Gravenhurst

August - October: half marathon training. Half marathon September 26.

That is what I envision as a very crude outline of my upcoming year.

I'll see how it goes!

Three months later

2008-12-09T20:26:00.003-05:00

3 months post op

It's been three months!!

I have been as lazy of a rehabber as I've been a blogger. I hate to say it but I've quit physio and have instead been going to the gym not quite enough and working specifically on rebuilding my leg muscle not quite enough.

I'm bad.

But I feel pretty good! I can do almost anything. I can kneel on very soft things like beds and folded up yoga mats. I can go down stairs basically normally.

My knee gets stiff when I sit at my desk or in a show for a while.

And the scar isn't really looking that great in some spots that were more scabby during the earlier recovery days. Let's take a look.

I try to remember to put special scar oil stuff on it twice a day but it's hard to say now whether that helps.

But all in all I'm doing well! I'm going back to the surgeon next week for another follow up so we'll see what he has to say.

My First visit with the surgeon

2008-10-29T22:05:00.003-04:00

Post op week 7

I had physio yesterday and apparently I need to strengthen my hamstrings and improve my balance. Psh. I'm getting tired of going to physio. Can I stop now?

I didn't have a chance to go to the gym yesterday or today, though. :( Did I go Monday? Hmm. I can't recall.

Today I met with my surgeon and all was great. I thanked him for his good work, and he thanked me for being a great patient. He said everything is going according to plan. Apparently I'll be feeling perfect by three months but still can't do real sports for six months. Six months! That means I can play ultimate again in the Spring season. Yay Yay!!! :) I'm excited to play play play.

And I'm thinking of takng up running. What do you think about that?

Anything else new with the knee? Well, no, not really. I can dance a jig, more or less. Probably just as well as I ever could before, in fact. I feel almost normal! I still can only kneel on a thick mat or a pillow and even that feels weird. And my leg feels sore if I have to stand for an hour, say, at the Of Montreal concert. Otherwise I'm very happy!!

Updates!

2008-10-27T10:20:00.002-04:00

Six weeks and six days post op

Yesterday I hurried up the subway stairs in a jog-like manner! It wasn't quite as fast as a normal jog up the stairs, but it was a jog up the stairs nevertheless.

Three days ago I began working out once more on the elliptical trainer, in addition to the stationary bike.

Tomorrow I've got physio and Wednesday is my first follow up appointment with the surgeon. Alright!

Range of Motion continues

2008-10-23T23:30:00.003-04:00

Six weeks and two days post op

And now we're onto week six of this ever-exciting adventure in knee surgery land! Welcome, boys and girls!

Let me think, what happened in the last week. Well, for one, I went hiking in the Canadian Shield. Yes, that's right. I traipsed up and down through the rocks on a two hour hike. I can't say it was easy - I had to go very slowly, particularly when descending, and my left leg felt it the next day because I depended quite a lot on it to climb up things, but hey, I did it! I twisted my right knee oddly once and feared for my graft but all seems fine.

Yesterday at physiotherapy I had good news and bad news. I'll start with the good. I have 135 degrees of bend!!! That's a mere five off from normal! Wow! And we weren't even really pushingit to its max when it was measured. How sweet it is to be almost normal. The other good news is that my physio had me walk across the room for him. I did that no problem. Then he had me JOG across the room for him. And I did it too! It was the first time I'd tried jogging and it was no big deal. I've since jogged a couple of times here or there, like through the halls of my condo on my way to the garbage shute, for example. It feels good.

My bad news is that my extension, which is supposed to be zero degrees and which was zero the first time I went to physio so I figured it must still be, is off by two degrees. I now feel like I must straighten that bad boy out. Extension is very important, so they say. My physiotherapist was less concerned about it that I was.

The other day I decided enough is enough. I'm sick of limping down the stairs. So I've been taking the stairs down whenever possible and working hard on using the muscles required to do so normally. I believe it's the quads that really deal with descending. I think in the two days that I've been making this conscious effort I've started to feel an improvement, though it's still quite slow going.

I went to body pump today and actually put a bit of weight on for the squatting section. I forget now how much weight it was. I think 5 pounds in total. I also went swimming this week as well as biking at the gym. On the bike I've been doing 3o minutes of actual cardio biking and then five or ten minutes with the seat as low as possible, working on my bend. It seems to loosen things up.

That's all the week six knee news for you. Oh, except I've now spent about $500 on knee-surgery related expenses (most physio). I very much look forward to NOT having a $55 a week physio expense. Though happily I've been managing to pay for it out of my normal monthly budget instead of going into savings like I feared I'd have to.

Next week I have my first follow-up appointment with my surgeon!

I got new shoes!

2008-10-15T17:25:00.002-04:00

5 weeks

It's been five weeks since surgery and here's where I'm at.

I think about my leg 65% of the time.

I've done two bodypumps and two bodyflow classes with no trouble. Except I can't kneel so that can get ackward.

When I walked around a lot on Queen street my leg got heavy and tired and uncomfortable.

Going up stairs is painless though I can feel my muscle is not strong, meaning it takes a bit more effort to do.

Going down stairs is still difficult for me. There's a strange interior pain that's almost like a block somewhere deep inside that kicks in sometimes when I go downstairs. My muscle is not strong enough to lower my bodyweight smoothly from one step to another. I can do it very slowly, quicker with a handrail or two, and even quicker if the handrails are close together and I can "crutch" down. But that doesn't count.

I haven't been elevating or icing, except the other day when I walked too much.

I started up with a new physio today. My old physio recommended that I alternate between the two for a variety of physio styles. This one had me do a much more physical session as opposed to the relaxed massage-esque sessions of the last five weeks.

I did:
- about ten minutes of the muscle stimulation machine(is this a crock or what?)
- 3 sets of ten leg lifts lying on each side (so adductor and abductor muscles, I think.)
- 4 sets of seven hamstring curls, which had me standing with the front of my thighs against the edge of the bench and a five pound weight on my calf, lifting the weight up behind me by pulling my heel up.
- 3 sets of ten things where a strap attached to a weight machine went around my knee, and I had to bend and straighten as if I had a ball between my knees, sort of. I felt the same "going down the stairs" pain during this one.
- some supported squats
- a few step ups onto that squishy half ball thing
- a bit of balancing on a balance board.

Everything was easy.

This physiotherapist had a helper girl who kind of did all the work. The guy himself wasn't particularly friendly and I didn't feel motivated or cared for or encouraged like I do usually when I see my other guy. :( They haven't measured my flexion in two weeks!!! Booo. Next week I will insist.

I'm thinking about biking to my friend's house this evening without any approval to do so. Hope that's okay...

Back in the pool! Back in group exercise classes! Back in the game!

2008-10-07T21:57:00.004-04:00

Post Op Week 4

Don't even ask me how it's possible that four weeks are behind me. Please. Don't ask.

Things with the leg are really great.

Yesterday I went to the pool which I've only just recently discovered. It's two short blocks away from me and it's free! What the?!?!

I went to a lane swim and I started off doing arms only. I did 20 lengths to just get some cardio action on the go. That felt fine and the leg didn't complain at all. Next I took a flutterboard and did some light kicking for ten lengths, picking up the pace as I went on and realized there was no pain or discomfort really. Finally I realized that I was good to go, and I did 20 more lengths of full crawl. It was great! It's so nice to be able to feel like I'm really burning calories while stengthening.

Today was yet another milestone. I went back for the first time to the group exercise classes that I really love at the gym. In fact, I did them both, back to back, after doing a quick ten minutes on the bike. Maybe it sounds like I'm overdoing it. I hope I'm not overdoing it but I don't feel pain or any reason to stop. So I did a Bodypump class, modifying the heavy weighted squats and lunges sections so that I was just lightly squatting with no added weight. The rest of my major muscle groups were happy for the attention. We'll see how they feel tomorrow. Following that, I did a nice, relaxing Bodyflow class, a class that combines yoga, tai chi, and pilates. There were a few kneeling things that I couldn't do (I can't bend fully yet and I can't put full weight on my knee) but other than that I did some great stretches, strethening exercises, and balance work. My balance on the operative knee is pretty much as good as it was before.

So that's where I'm at four weeks post. I am extremely pleased by this speedier than anticipated recovery.

Overall, I should add, my knee is feeling funny most of the time, but not painful. It feels heavier and kind of achy when I keep it in one position, so I end up moving it around quite a bit, from straight to bent and back again. My walk is almost perfect. The stairs are still tricky on the way down.

Here are some week four photos for ya! Look at that bend!

Three weeks and five days

2008-10-05T22:00:00.000-04:00

Physio session #4

2008-10-03T13:27:00.004-04:00

post op: 3 weeks and 3 days

I had another successful physio visit today. He says I should be used in his advertising, but he says it in the same tone of voice that he says his encouraging, "hold just here" that makes me think he tells that to all this patients. Whatever works, right?

Today it was another relaxing session with him doing some soft and relaxing leg massaging and a few of the same old exercises that are all basically just very light muscle work for each of the muscles in my leg. The hardest thing for me that he asks me to do is he puts a rolled up weight under my knee and then has me tighten my quad and lift my foot up off the table, holding it slightly elevated for a few seconds. The rest of the exercises are easy as pie and not at all painful or anything as I've heard many people describe their physio sessions.

So either I'm a superstar or my physiotherapist is doing it wrong.

In any case, I've officially graduated from his little shoe-box office at this clinic and I now have to see him at his other office at the Atrium on Bay (a further walk from my house, but still walkable). I think he has more real equipment there. He wants me to alternate between seeing him one week and seeing his colleague another as they apparently have differing techniques that will compliment each other well.

In other news, I reached and just surpassed this week's goal for flexion with a whopping 122 degree bend. Yahoo! I'm only 18 degrees away from normal! The physio said that the biggest hurdle is getting to 90 degrees and after that it's just a matter of time and not so much working at it before it gets back to normal. I'm not sure if I agree.

I asked him why he thinks one person might heal faster than another, besides age as a factor. He said that I have very supple joints, or lots of flexibility, which helps a lot. Other people get very stiff and have a more difficult time healing.

After physio I used my motivation to go to the gym where I biked for 20 solid minutes on the "cardio" setting and actually worked up a sweat. It no longer feels like a stretch when I pedal around the bendiest part of the rotation so I'm good to go on that. I can finally get some cardio in. I also did a bunch of ab work and some calf raises, leg lifts, and ham work with the ball. I didn't bother with any upper body stuff... because I'm lazy.

Didn't make it to the pool after all but I did get the seal of approval from my PT to sit in a hot tub which I plan to do all weekend while surrounded by the beauty that is autumn. Yay!

must. keep. blogging.

2008-10-01T23:43:00.002-04:00

Post op: three weeks and one day

It's been three weeks! And here I am, still alive.

I haven't been diligently blogging, but here's what's up on the knee scene.

For one, I've totally ditched the crutches. I am now crutch free and loving it! I've seen THREE different people using crutches since Monday, if you can believe it, and felt a marked affinity towards them, though they couldn't tell that I too am one of them.

My current focus has been trying to walk without a limp, and it's more or less working I think. The effort is kind of funny. I have to be conscious of swinging my arms because in my attempt to walk without a limp I end up holding my arms very still. This looks bizarre, in case you've never noticed it.

I have two newish difficulties now, too. The first is stairs. Going up I'm not too bad. I can use both feet and walk slowly but normally, though when my operative leg is the one stepping up, my muscle has to really work hard to lift the weight of my body. I guess that must be due to the weakness of my quads and hamstrings. Going down the stairs is much worse than that because my operative knee simply hurts when I do it. Sometimes I do it anyway, sometimes I step down with only my left and look like a bit of a weirdo, and sometimes I use railings to lower myself down. It depends on my mood.

The other difficulty is that after any prolonged walking my whole leg hurts. Actually I'm kind of in a state of constant "uncomfortable-leg". My calf muscle and the muscles in my thigh are all tense and angry, maybe because they're getting used to being used again, but it hurts in a nagging kind of a way and I don't enjoy it.

Despite this I've returned to my normal work and play schedule, ish. I think about my knee probably 90% of my waking hours. This week I have been biking at the gym twice as well as doing a few other things (leg press, ab work, leg lifts, whatever I can think of, stretching, sometimes arms) and I've managed to activate the audio on the televisions! I noticed a big improvement on my range of motion while biking on Monday, after a few days off over the weekend.

The incision is so close to being completely closed and scab-free. I hope to go swimming this week still. Maybe Friday after physio. I stopped by the pool on my way to the gym today (it's really so close!) and found out the lane swimming hours. It appears that swimming there is free. Is that even possible?

Oh, and before I go, I promised to talk about weight gain and knee surgery. Well. I was sure that I'd been packing on the pounds as I lazed around the house eating too much of very unhealthy things. But when I stepped on the scale the other day I was three pounds lighter than I think I was before surgery. I think the explanation is that I've lost some amount of muscle mass and along with that I've lost tone. I'm basically becoming one flabby girl.. but I don't care because it's just the numbers on the scale that count!!!! wink. wink.

Sleeping time.

Walking around like crazy

2008-09-29T00:25:00.002-04:00

Post Op: 2 weeks and 5 days

This weekend I became a normal person again. I went to visit Steve in Hamilton on Friday and brought one crutch and my brace with me, but ended up really just using the crutch. We walked what is normally a half an hour walk and though I did it, my leg was really swollen and tired by the time we got home. I sat in a bar for a while feeling fine but did still feel better with my leg propped up on a chair throughout most of the evening.

This is my leg swollen after too much walking.

Saturday I walked around St. Lawrence market - again with just the one crutch.

And today I went to the apple orchard and traversed difficult terrain on my new-ligamented knee. I also went to my parents house without any crutches and managed just fine, trying now to walk without a limp which keeps me moving slowly but steadily.

Here's my leg in the apple orchard. I'm a little obsessed with photographing my legs these day...

I'm feeling pretty great, I must admit. This busy schedule has, however, distracted me from my exercising and tomorrow and for the rest of the week I'll be back at the gym. In some ways I feel like just walking on my leg is progress and exercise. The more I use the muscles to do normal, everyday things, the better they will fare, right?

One question I asked my physiotherapist is, "how much is too much?" His response to that is that the surgeon made sure during surgery that my full range of motion was there. The only reason I don't have it now is because of swelling and stiffness. So... in other words, I should work it out as much as I like as long as I don't feel too much pain or strain. I also, obviously, need to make sure not to do things that are not suitable for an unstable knee.

And one more leg shot from today for good luck.

As far as pain and discomfort go, it's still at this point heavy and noticeable pretty much at all times, but I wouldn't really call it painful unless I've really been walking for a long time, and even that is improving. Sitting in a chair with my leg bent for a long period of time is also not very comfortable.

It's hard to believe three weeks have almost alread passed. Stayed tuned for tomorrow's entry where I'll wow you with... body weight and knee surgery!!!

Physio session #3

2008-09-26T12:02:00.005-04:00

post op 2 weeks and three days

My goal was to reach 105 degrees flexion by today and guess what it was?! 110!! Yahoo!!

I went from 60 to 95 to 110. Normal is 140. My next physio appointment is one week from today so let's shoot for a 125 degree bend by then. Go team!

He said the best exercise by far for working on my bend is the stationary bike so I'm just going to contine doing that. I imagine it will get more and more comfortable as the days go by. Soon maybe I'll even be able to start activating the audio on the televisions! Also I think I'll start swimming next week when my incision is a little more healed up.

I feel ready to ditch one of either the brace or the crutches and he said that the brace can be the first to go. But the protocol from the surgeon said that I'm supposed to wear that thing for five weeks so my physio suggested I call and inquire about that.

I'm feeling quite good about my progress and if anything I'd say seeing the physiotherapist is good for my motivation. He doesn't reall DO all that much. A little bit of gentle massaging, some exercises like pushing my leg in various ways against his resistance, and today he worked on my walking, telling me to remember to bend my leg and things like that.

And that's it! I've gotta go!

I can't believe it's almost October...

2008-09-25T23:01:00.002-04:00

post op 2 weeks and 2 days

Not much is up with me and my knee since Tuesday.

I went on the stationary bike for three days in a row and it was quite good. I went slowly but made the full rotation and feel hopeful that tomorrow at physio I'll have increased my flexion degree from 95 to 105. Come on big bend!

I was thinking about going swimming today but my incision is not perfectly closed up just yet and I want to make sure I don't get an infection. As luck would have it, there's a public swimming pool just down the street from me that I stopped by the other day and saw the lane swimming hours. Too bad I forgot them... I wonder how much it costs, too.

Today was supposed to be payday but I see no pay in my account which makes me feel a little tense but not totally screwed. Usually I get paid immediately so hopefully there's no trouble with my last invoice. Boo.

So, the leg continues to be less than perfect but making progress. I've been misbehaving and breaking the rules a bit. I haven't been wearing my brace around the house and I haven't really been wearing it out of the house unless I am walking actually. When I do wear the brace, I haven't always been using crutches. For example, going from the car to the restaurant last night with my parents, I went crutchless and it was fine. I'm a crazy rule-breaker!!!!

I'm excited for physio tomorrow! Let's see how it goes!!

Strong Legs Plan continued

2008-09-23T22:41:00.004-04:00

2 weeks post op!

Wow! I've made it to the two-week mark! And I'm feeling pretty great since yesterday when I made excellent progress and gained some confidence in my leg.

Today I made further progress. I went to the gym again but this time I used only 1 crutch to get there. At the gym I used the stationary bike again, starting off slowly in the lower part of the pedal rotation and then gaining enough flexion to make the full circle. I tried to pedal fast enough to activate the television audio but no dice... subtitles it was.

So I rode the bike for about 15 minutes and then went upstairs to the leg press. I did 15 presses with my bad leg only on the lowest weight which I think was 15 pounds. Then I did 15 with both legs on a higher weight, then 15 again on the bad leg and lower weight, then back to both legs. I thought about doing some hip abductors, and tried it a bit, but then wasn't sure if I was supposed to do a thing like that. So I went down on the mat and did some abs and some lying around elevating my leg against the glass of the squash court. Ahh, workouts.

I don't have a very clear workout plan. All I know is that my PT told me I can do the bike and the leg press so that's what I did. I should figure out a more extensive upper and core body workout plan to compensate for my self-pitying overeating. I didn't weigh myself before this all started for a reason...

At home I've been much more comfortable the last couple of days. It's like my quad muscles kicked in once again and are suddenly now somewhat useful. I can lift my leg up onto the couch using my quadriceps instead of turning around and lifting it up with my hamstrings. I can also lower my leg slowly to the ground. These are things I was not able to do for the first week and a half or more. Actually, it might have been just yesterday that I suddenly felt the change.

I've also been walking around my place without the brace on and without having to hold onto furniture for support. I know this goes against my doctor's orders, but I feel like the longer I am stuck in the brace the more muscle mass I'll lose and the less opportunity I'll have to work on flexion. I've been very careful and haven't had any mishaps. Yet.

As far as how my emotional state is, I'm feeling really great. Getting back to work and the gym, and seeing real improvement has done a lot for me. Yes, it sucks to be kind of missing a beautiful time of year, but I think I'll survive. I should try to get outside a bit more and stop letting this leg keep me all cooped up.

And finally, here are my 2 weeks post op photos:

Look how the bruise has just about disappeared!

My scar looks beautiful except for a spot or two of bloodiness that hasn't cleared up yet. And pen marks that haven't washed off.

The most progress yet!!

2008-09-23T00:27:00.003-04:00

Day 13

This afternoon, after visiting the office for the first time today since the surgery (though I've been fine and working from home since sometime last week), I went back to the gym! I haven't been to the gym since maybe two weeks before my surgery when I came down with a cold and the never returned.

I actually hesitated going because the image of a girl hobbling around with crutches in a big brace, entering the gym seemed too much for me to handle. But I had already declared publically that I was going to give it a shot, so off I went. For those out of the loop, my gym is a three minute walk down the street.

It probably took me ten minutes to crutch over there.

Once there, I definitely attracted some attention, the front door girl asked me what I did to my leg immediately. Other people held the doors for me, and later my friend the Kung Fu instructor/Fitness Orientation guy who has been asking me about my knee since he oriented me came by to say hello and see how I was doing.

I went over to the stationary bikes section and got onto a bike with a good view of the TVs. My physio said this morning that I could go on the bike but I probably wouldn't be able to do a full rotation on the pedals. Even just pedalling back and forth on the lower part of the rotation would be a good start, he said. I've read accounts of others online who say that getting on the bike is great for helping with the healing process. I think it releases some kind of acid or fluid or something that helps to increase range of motion. After about five minutes of pedaling back and forth, I was actually able to do a full rotation pedal!! Then I continued to cycle for about ten more minutes! I didn't want to overdo it but it felt pretty okay. I mean, it wasn't like I was burning many calories. I was going so slowly the bike's computer didn't even register my efforts and therefore I couldn't even activate the audio for the TVs, but man, it felt great. It was pretty difficult at the bendiest part of the pedal-action, such that I had to use my other foot to kind of pull the pedal along instead of pushing it with my bad leg. I feel confident that by Friday, if I continue to go to the gym and work on the cycling, I will achieve my 105 degree bending goal. Maybe even beat it!

After around fifteen minutes on the bike I figured that was enough so I went over to the mat area where I did a bunch of crunches, first with my legs bent and down and then with them up on the ball. I used my legs to pull and push the ball around, I did some bicep and tricep work, and I could even do the plank on my toes (without the brace!) I'm not completely sure as far as leg exercises what else I should do, or maybe what I shouldn't do, but I'm not really pushing it and nothing I've done has caused me any pain yet.

I left the gym feeling so great! It's nice to be back doing some of the things I enjoy, even if it's not quite the same. It feels wonderful to see real signs of progress. It even just feels good to be working on getting better in a busy and full of life environment like the gym where everyone else is working on the same goal, if for different reasons.

Then I came home and ate ice cream, souvlaki and nachos Iin that order) with friends while watching Heroes.

Here's to my two week anniversary tomorrow!!! My how time flies.

Cabin Fever for me and my primary caregiver!

2008-09-22T13:11:00.004-04:00

Post Op day 12 and some 13

Sunday was day 12 and we went out for Brunch and coffee and dinner with various people. In between the eating, lying around watching the Office on a sunny early Autumn sunday got us itchy for some fresh air, so we packed up our reading material and went to the park across the street from my condo. Ahh, it really hit the spot.

My leg seems to be improving by very small increments daily. I am feeling increasingly more okay to sit in a normal chair with my foot down, though I still need to alternate between up and down throughout a meal. I crutched all the way down to Queen St. W from Dundas which usually takes five minutes but took me probably closer to 15.

Last night, after all of that action, my knee felt very heavy and uncomfortable. So now I think I've learned that the more activity I do during the day, the more Tylenol, icing, and elevating I need in the evening.

I also ate lots of french fries last night. Oopsies...

This morning I woke up and went to my second physio appointment. As you may know, I've been worrying about the speed and quality of my recovery with only once-a-week physiotherapy visits. I expressed this concern to my physiotherapist and he seemed to think that it will be fine as long as I seem to be making improvements. And I am! Last week I was able to bend my knee to 60 degrees flexion, 6 days post surgery. Today, 13 days post surgery, I was at 90 degrees! Hurray! I have another physio appointment on Friday and I hope to have improved to at least 105 flexion. Go me!

At physio I did a number of relatively easy exercises. In on he wanted me to extend my leg straight out in front of me while seated on the table and hold it up and out with my own muscle. I really didn't think I'd be able to do it, but lo and behold, my muscle kicked in after the first try or two and I was able to hold out my leg on my own. Another success!

My physio seems perplexed at my surgeon's instructions to continue wearing the brace for such a long time (6 weeks). I told him that I'd been kind of moving around my place without it despite those instructions and he thinks it's fine, as long as I wear it when I'm walking around outside and in less contained environments. He said that I might as well start using my leg if I'm planning on using it for the rest of my life.

I asked him when I'd be able to get on the stationary bike and he said that if I want to go to my gym and just try pedaling, it would be beneficial to improving my bend. He said I won't be able to make full circles around, but if I just work on it by pedaling back and forth on the bottom of the rotation, it would be good. He said that the leg press machine would also be a good exercise to work on at the gym.

I feel like I need to be very pro-active with this physiotherapist, making sure to ask questions about specific exercises and steps in my recovery in order to get the information I need. That feels kind of weird, but luckily I'm on the ball with this... I think.

At one point I was standing up and doing some hip related exercises and I started to feel very faint. I think it might have been the fact that cheerios suck for energy and the lights in his stuffy little office are very hot. I lay down and got a head massage out of the deal. :D

After physio I actually dropped by the office and said hello to my office mates. It felt nice to be there after almost two weeks! I actually felt like a real person again.

I think I'm going to head to the gym later today to give those exercises a try! I'm excited to get moving!! Things are on the move!

No sleep for the healing

2008-09-21T07:17:00.003-04:00

Post-Op Day 11

It's 7:18am on Sunday morning and I've been awake for an hour now. And here I thought my 9AM alarm for an early morning breakfast plan was rough enough.

But I can't sleep very well these mornings lately. I wake up early feeling discomfort in the leg and can't get back to sleep. So I've relocated to the couch this morning with my intricate elevation device in place and two Tylenols down the hatch, and hopefully after I finish this blog I'll be able to catch an hour or so more of sleep.

Yesterday was day 11 and I tried to rest my leg more than I had the day before. I stayed in pretty much, except for a few hours spent up on the 8th floor of my building hanging out with some of Steve's friends and their friends who happened to live here too. How convenient!

Steve also went out to Kensington to pick up the ingredients we needed to do a cooking extravaganza. We made lasagna and peach crumble! They came out so very well! I sat across the three bar stools and shredded cheese while he stood in the kitchen chopping veggies and boiling noodles. It was a pretty good deal.

Mmm.. I'm hungry now just thinking about it.

My leg felt pretty decent yesterday actually. I think I felt like I increased my angle of bend a bit more so that's positive. I've been still hobbling around with the brace and without crutches, and in fact I've been breaking the rules and going around my apartment with my brace off, holding onto furniture for dear life, or to make-shift walkers like a bar stool or Steve, or using crutches. I probably shouldn't risk it but the brace is so big and strappy and hot and restrictive. I haven't been sleeping with it either, but my surgeon says you don't have to.

I'm looking forward to returning to see my physiotherapist tomorrow. I plan to ask him whether seeing him once a week is enough to make the optimal recovery. It's a tricky thing to balance funds with quality, but at this point it's really in my best interest to have a full recovery instead of a few extra hundred or thousand dollars in my bank. Right?

We'll see how that goes.

Stitches out!

2008-09-20T11:29:00.003-04:00

Post op day 10

Ack! I'm falling behind on my blogging.

So yesterday was post op day ten and therefore time to get ye olde stitches taken out. I made an appointment with my doctor and Steve, who came back into town for the weekend, drove me up to Yonge and Eglinton where my doctor is.

I sat in the waiting room and some lady struck up conversation with me. Having this leg thing is kind of interesting. People are not at all shy to ask me what happened to me, or what's wrong with my leg, or to make jokes about taking care of my leg. If it were my permanent condition I wonder how that would feel...

The stitch removing was a breeze. Though my doctor didn't actually know how to do it. She used the tweezers provided by the surgeon to tug gently on the bottom blue string that was sticking out. Nothing happened. She tugged on the top. Still nothing. So she went to ask her colleague. As they were walking back towards my examination room I heard her saying, "...so maybe I should just tug a little harder? I don't know..." He came in, glanced at my knee and said, "yup, just pull harder." Great. She pulled harder on the bottom string and slowly the blue stitch on the top started to disappear. The stitches were all internal so when finally it was all out, it looked crimped from the work it was doing inside. It's kind of crazy that it's safe to just pull that out and there's no damage to the healing. I'd guess there were about 8 to 10 internal stitches in there.

The rest of the day I was quite active. We went to get lunch and I sat on a bench seat, we went to a grocery store and an eye-glasses store and I hobbled around. We went to Steve's parent's house and I sat mostly but also walked up and down stairs, around a backyard, and to other places. We stopped at the mall to return something and I went into the store, and finally I sat at his grandmother's dinner table alternating my knee between un-braced and bent, foot resting on the ground, and leg supported up on a chair beside me.

By halfway through the dinner my leg was very uncomfortable and did not like to stay in any of those positions for longer than a few minutes. By the time we got back downtown to my place I was in actual pain and discomfort, and unable to to my last set of exercises for the night.

:(

I'll try to take it easy today and tomorrow so I can be in top shape for my physio appointment Monday.

Mendy Mend Mend

2008-09-19T09:40:00.003-04:00

Post op day 9

I didn't have a chance to post yesterday but, in case I forget, day 9 was the same exact thing as day 8. I didn't go out. I did my exercises religiously and felt an improvement in flow and ability but not necesarily in increased flexion angle. I worked. I had wonderful friends visit me at night. And that's it. Oh, except I pulled off all the steristrips.

Today is day ten and I will definitely be leaving the house because I have an appointment with my family doctor to remove my stitches! I hope they're ready to come out because it's day 10 in the 7-10 day window of the FAQ sheet's directions.

I hope it doesn't hurt too much...

Hump Day!

2008-09-17T22:42:00.003-04:00

Post Op Day 8

I didn't leave the house today.

Never the less, I was productive, and actually spent a good part of the day working. I also did my physio exercises three times very thoroughly and threw in a few exercises here and there whenever my brace was off for icing. I'm starting to see some improvement.

For example, sitting on my kitchen countertop with the breakfast bar stool out in front of me, I am now able to very slowly extend my toes and raise them up to rest on the footrest of the chair without using my other leg as a lift.

It's unclear whether the angle of my bend is improving but I can say with some certainty that it's feeling less difficult to bring the leg to a bend whenever I attempt it.

The above picture shows the two legs flexed. Notice the difference. Also notice the bruise on my left foot from when my crutch fell on me. Beware of damn crutches.

My bruise is fading. Aww, goodbye mammoth bruise. May you be the bruisiest bruise I ever experience forever-more.

Besides spending the day working and exercising, I also managed another shower (showering feels soooo good), to make myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and to wash dishes. I can walk around my place in my brace without crutches and without clutching the furniture or walls as I go. Once or twice I've felt an uncomfortable shift in my leg within the brace so I have to be careful.

In the evening I had a lovely visit from Jordy, Pipa, and Adam. We watched "So you Think You Can Dance Canada" which is quite wonderful, and played with the colour effects on my camera. Ooh la la.

Look! The artist reunited with his work!

All in all not such a bad day. No longer am I emotionally unstable.. at least not today. I feel good about my motivation to exercise and am keeping a positive attitude towards getting back on my feet!

One week later

2008-09-17T00:37:00.004-04:00

Post op day 7

It's already been a whole week since surgery! Golly gee.

This sucks. I don't recommend it to anyone. :( I'm having a feeling-sorry-for-myself kind of night but let me start from the beginning so you don't feel too deprived without the details of my entire day.

The day started, as usual, with downing some drugs. My drug of choice has (yay!) officially switched to Tylenol. I did not take a single percocet all day nor do I intend to swallow any more. Progress! I woke, really, to the call of my lovely mother offering to come visit me at lunch and take me to the food court under my building for a little outing. I happily agreed.

This invitation left me with precious time to get my morning activities out of the way. I had to go to the couch, ice and elevate (while checking email and facebook, of course) and then do my exercises. The bending is still very difficult for me and it's hard to say whether I'm making progress. Ooh hoo hoo.

After the exercises - think me sitting on my kitchen counter trying with all my might to lift my foot up from dangling position to the foot rest bar on my stool. Hey, it might be worthwhile to describe how the exercises feel. For one, I have no quadricep muscles left. Imagine the action of your foot when the doctor knocks on your knee with that knocker thing. Doing that on your own not as a reflex is a piece of cake, right? I can't do it. Only with great great effort can I even move my foot about one foot higher than its dangling place. It sucks. I've been working on resistance, with my good leg supporting my bad, and then pushing both against each other, trying to draw the bad one down into a bigger bend. I've also been doing some similar exercises with an elastic band thing. I think I'm around 90 degrees flexion but it's very hard to tell from my angle. I need someone with a protractor.

Anyway, I took a shower and got dressed just in time for my mother to arrive. But I was knocked out from the effort of those things alone. We went for lunch and again, the discomfort of sitting in the food court without full leg support was almost too much for me. I don't know how people go back to sitting at a desk at work with this leg. It's ridiculous.

After lunch (thanks mom!!) I came home, relaxed for a bit, and then had a bunch more visitors. Yorgos came to hang out, then D'Arcy arrived soon after.

D'Arcy gave me a lovely massage. She used to work in a physio clinic and she'd massage people's swollenness right out of their bodies. She worked on me for a while. It felt very nice and may have helped but the thing is still a swollen beast.

Here are the one week leg shots for you:

As you can see, the steristrips are still on so it seems like the stitches are not ready to come out, but I'm supposed to have them removed by my doctor. Hmm... any doctors around want to remove my stitches for me?

Wendy came over once again and the two girls took such good care of me. They made me dinner and cleaned up and kept me company and brought me ice and moved around furniture. I'm lucky to have such great friends.

We watched ridiculous TLC and 90210.

And we may have eaten some very sinful Mcsnackcream. Shhh. I'm going to get so fat, I'm sure.

Then Wend went home and Darce and I watched a very sad Israeli movie that had us both crying by the end. She stopped crying when it was over, but I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown.

Really, I can't walk. I can hobble around with my brace but without it I'm totally screwed. I know it will get better and I know people deal with a lot worse, but for a moment there tonight I just about lost it.

I'm really thankful for the people visiting me and for french fries, because without that I'd really go crazy.

How silly, eh? I'll be on my feet again in no time. It's just one of those days...

Another day...

2008-09-16T01:04:00.002-04:00

Post op day 6

Today went by in the blink of an eye!

I tried to do some work and managed about a half an hour before falling asleep. I read a little bit. I iced. I elevated.

I only did my exercises once just now, so twice today if you count the time at physio. Off to a great start, eh?

Some friends came by tonight and fed me and kept me company and all was well.

As for the knee, I'm making good progress on getting off the percocets. I only had a half a tablet this morning before physio and I'm trying to hold off on taking any more. I think I can handle it. The extra strength Tylenol's are working alright.

The exercises are still difficult for me. I'm still not at 90 degrees flexion I don't think. I don't know what normal progress is and I think I'm fine, but I'd like to get to a 90 degree bend by, let's say, Wednesday.

And finally, my bruise is so gruesome. It's like an exciting game to check it out each morning. How far will it have crept up my leg this time!?!?

Getting Moving

2008-09-15T12:18:00.002-04:00

Post op day 6 - first day of physiotherapy

With a 10:00am appointment, I set my alarm for 8:00, planning to be out the door by 9:30 and leaving plenty of extra time for unforeseen obstacles.

I woke up at 6:00 and couldn't sleep so puttered around online until 7:00 before falling asleep and resetting my cell phone alarm in a sleepy haze, finally waking up at 9:10, only twenty minutes before I was set to leave. Also, my pain meds had warn off and I was tired, cranky, sweating, and in pain. Crap.

I popped some Tylenol and got up, heading to the bathroom to attempt a quick standing sponge bath to freshen up for the physiotherapist. I then collapsed for a moment or two back in bed in exhaustion before forcing myself up and into shorts and a t-shirt. Choosing which t-shirt to wear proved rather difficult. I was going to go with the one I got in Thailand after bungee jumping but thought the image of my hobbling down Dundas St. in brace and crutches with that t-shirt would be too ironic. The same went for my "Ambassador of Nova Scotia good times" Alexander Keith's t-shirt. I went with a simple "Canada" t-shirt instead.

Time was ticking and I went into the kitchen to prepare something to eat. I was feeling anything but hungry but knew I needed to eat something before heading out so I spooned some yogurt and Harvest Crunch into a bowl, got a glass of orange juice, and hobbled over to the table. My leg was throbbing so I also hauled my plastic bags of peas to the couch. I stretched out on the couch, icing my leg while trying to eat my granola and check the weather and the address of the clinic in only a few minutes. At one point I was trying to put the bowl on the coffee table and I kind of knocked or tipped it, sending granola all over the floor. It's still there. I have to work up the energy to sweep it up. :(

Anyway, I finished eating, found the information I needed, and by that point it was already 9:35. I sadly had to forego brushing my teeth so that I could have enough time to put on my socks and shoes. I hadn't worn socks since the surgery. They were very difficult to put on, as were my sneakers, and I finally left the house at 9:40 feeling anxious and unhappy. I almost considered taking a taxi but decided to buck up and walk the three blocks to the clinic.

It was fine. The cool morning relaxed me and I was careful not to rush for fear of falling. I wonder if I look like a spectacle walking down the street in such a condition.

I arrived at the clinic with five minutes to spare, my leg throbbing mildly, and was asked to fill out some paperwork before taking a seat in the waiting area for a few moments. Man, sitting in a regular chair is the pits. It is exceedingly uncomfortable - even painful - to sit with my brace-straightened leg hanging down to the ground. A footstool would be better, but even that is painful without any support in the middle of the leg. I need full leg support to feel at ease.

A few minutes later my physiotherapist Michael came and introduced himself. He shook my hand and led me into his little office. It's TINY! This clinic is not one of those larger sports medicine clinics with many people getting treatment at the same time. It's a small, multi-purpose place that has homeopathic treatments, massage, and all kinds of other things. There is only one physiotherapist on site. I hope he has the expertise and equipment necessary for this treatment.

Anyway, he asked me a few questions about the history of my injury and what has happened so far. He then asked me to walk for him with crutches and gave me some constructive criticism on my technique. I need to step with my back leg and the crutches as the same time to distribute weight properly. He took some measurments of the circumference of my thigh and knee, had me do a few very small exercises involved flexing and pushing my foot and my knee, and he did some weird massaging that almost felt more like he was just holding my leg in different places, only moving his hands very very slightly. It actually felt very nice and soothing, but I wonder what the effects are. He did the same kind of gentle massaging/holding of my head. It was quiet and lovely. I don't really know...

Oh, another thing he did was pull out a big coloured book of anatomy and actually took the time to show and explain what exactly my injury was and how exactly my doctor repaired me. The surgeon never took the time to really give me a good explanation of these things. It really amazes me.

Apparently, the surgeon cut out a small central stip of my patellar tendon along with a small piece of bone from the kneecap and from the bone in my shin. This piece of tendon with bone attached on either side was drilled into place where my Anterior Cruciate Ligament was, though the bones of the femur and Tibia (I think). The ACL is typically a ligament with very little blood flow which is why it doesn't heal and when torn it just sort of shrivels up and dies. By drilling and attaching the tendon graft though the bones, which have a healthy blood supply, a new ligament grows along the graft within however many months, leaving me with a brand new ligament. So the patellar tendon is not acting as a new ACL like I thought, but is instead the scaffolding for a new ligament to grow. Fascinating!!!

All in all I really appreciated the soft, calming nature of this physio and the fact that he really took time with me.

I told him about my lack of health insurance, though told him that I don't wish to compromise the quality of the therapy because of it. He suggested meeting once a week (I've heard people go for physio three times a week...). This week I am to focus on icing and elevating to get rid of the "gunk" and working on regaining my range of motion. I've got a 0 degree straight leg, which is perfect, and I think he measured me at 60 degree bend on the operative leg and 140 on the good leg. There's a goal if I've ever seen one...

This initial visit cost me $90.00 and every subsequent visit will be $50. Great... It sucks to have no health insurance. But I guess it's good we're only meeting three times a week.

Oh, one last thing. He showed me how to properly elevate and ice, and apparently I've been doing it wrong all week.

To elevate, you can use a regular chair flipped over with pillows resting on the bottom of the seat. Lying flat back, put your leg up against this structure so that the knee is a good many inches above the heart. This allows the swelling and fluids and "gunk" collected during the day to get outta there.

For icing, do ten minutes on, ten off, then ten on again instead of 20 minutes all together. The first ten prep the leg for the second ten. I'm not sure how. Instead of using a towel (or tea towel as I had done) wrap the leg in saran wrap to keep germs away from the incision but to allow as much coldness to come in contact with the leg. Then put the ice (or frozen peas as I've been doing) directly onto the saran wrap.

An hour later I paid my $90.00 bill, made another appointment for next Monday, and was out the door, hobbling back home where I arrived and began elevating and icing as directed.

Let's see how the rest of the day goes. Mom is on her way over with lunch!!

Keepin' it real downtown

2008-09-14T19:21:00.004-04:00

Post Op Day 5

Wow, the days are going by! And here I sit, on my couch, my leg up and supported of course, debating the worth of getting up for any given need or desire. To reach my camera to post these pictures? Maybe not worth it. To get my frozen peas for an icing? A bit more valuable.

Last night I woke up at 4:30 feelng pain. On a scale of 1 to 10 of pain I've probably not felt anything greater than 5 or 6 throughout this whole experience, opting instead to load up on drugs whenever I expect the going to get tough. So early this morning I awoke to maybe a 5 or 5.5 pain rating, and despite my efforts at weaning off the percocets, I popped one along with a couple of Tylenol. I think I took Tylenol at that point anyway... hard to recall. I also had a middle of the night bathroom break.

Speaking of bathroom breaks... for those of you who are unawares, percocet does a pretty efficient job at both making me drink lots of water which makes me have to pee quite often, and also keeping my bowels from doing their thang. I went from Monday to Saturday before I got any kind of action in that department! And I think the only thing that got me going was a stool softener my mom gave me along with the reduced pain killer intake. The bagels and chili and everything else I ate all week didn't seem to play a role. Also, getting to the bathroom can be a real challenge. There's only so fast I can crutch and I don't know if I always experienc that kind of urgency or if this is special, but I suppose I can usually react far more immediately.

I digress.

I slept fine for the rest of the night, waking up arond 10 or so. I took the requisite daily leg shots. Check out my bruise! I have great pride in it.

Overall the knee doesn't look too excessively swollen or anything, eh? I'm feeling okay about it.

Steve made a plan for us to meet his friend who had spent I think it was 8 hours at the Sunnybrook ER with a twisted shoulder. Another ultimate frisbee injury paying the Sunnybrook doctors' salaries. He lives in my condo building so we all met at this new breakfast place in the awesome Grange foodcourt.

I thought it would be funny if Steve showed up with a tensor bandage wrapped around his head. Instead he decided he'd like to slip and fall on the floor of the food court. All he had to show for that, though, was a headache and a frown.

I felt like absolute crap in the food court. I think it was either because of the percocets or because I hadn't had a percocet since 4:30 and I've become an addict, but I felt clammy and feverish and without apppetite and close to tears. A quick fix took care of the problem and I was good to eat my BLT with the rest of 'em.

After breakfast we headed on our way to Loblaw's. We'd called ahead and made sure the electonic cart was available for use. It was! We went through the store, trying to figure out what I'd need for the next couple of weeks or so. Man, this surgery would suck without lots of help. And varied help too.. I don't think Steve could stand it if he lived in this city. Poor guy... Maybe we were pushing it by going out.

Anyway, almost $100 later I think I'm stocked for a while now. Riding in the cart was pretty fun. Though it sucks that you can't reach the things you need and that the crowded aisles are three times more annoying when you're not agile and can sneak by people and things.

Overall I'm doing okay here on day 5. It's now evening and after an afternoon of watching DVDs provided by my lovely friends I'm feeling rested and pretty okay. I'm definitely not ready to go out and return to work, but I could perhaps start getting some work done from home over the next few days.

Steve is leaving for Hamilton tonight and I've been arranging visits for the next few days. Come by anytime! I'll be here. Except tomorrow when I have my first physio appointment at 10am. I wonder how long it'll take me to crutch over to Dundas and University... Looking forward to getting started on that stuff.

That's all for now. Thanks for the messages and calls, my friends. They're very much appreciated!

crazy going slowly am I... just kidding.. today was good!

2008-09-14T00:54:00.002-04:00

Post op day 4

I missed my telephone alarm in the middle of the night to take my pills! So I woke up at 7 instead of 4 or 5 or whatever it was supposed to be, hours late and wasn't sure what to do. I can't even remember what I did, actually. I think I took two percocets. Then at 1pm I took one percocet and one extra strength tylenol. Then five hours later I took half a percocet and two e.s. tylenols. Then at 11pm I took 2 e.s. tylenols and no percocets. I'll probably take a percocet before I go to sleep, but my pain is still under control and my sense of overall good-feelingness is much improved.

So today was characterized much by a visit from Mike in Thornhill where we sat around talking about Canadian Idol and our life plans, as well as making various things for lunch from my parents kitchen. Then when Steve arrived at 3 Mike went home and Steve helped me pack up all my stuff and take off down the highway toward the city. I think we were both a little stressed about the amount of stuff I had plus my inability to do anything plus the fear that I'll be kind of screwed when he goes back to Hamilton.

Through the torrential (mild) downpour (drizzle) Steve unloaded my clean laundry and books and magazines (what was I thinking, bringing EVERYTHING to the suburbs?) as well as a shower chair and special pillow, etc. etc. I sat idly by watching and feeling grateful. We loaded up the elevator, unloaded it, and brought everything into the condo, me working not to fall on my face using the crutches all the way along the hallway. I hope I don't fall on those things! I probably will.

It's nice to be home. My place is so small that I can ditch the crutches and basically make it from place to place just by holding onto walls and furniture and working on balance. It's not too bad. Steve put everything away in its rightful place while I lounged around, icing and giving directions. I showered (glad for the shower chair) and he got us dinner. We ate and then did all my physio stretches! I'm doing really well I think. I'm pretty sure I got my leg to bend to around 90 degrees! Hooray! What does a normal leg bend to, I wonder? I wonder what my goal is...

We just had some friends over to play Pop 5 Cranium and guess what? A busted leg doesn't keep me from ROCKIN' it at hummdingers, baby.

So, yeah, all in all it was a good day. I felt much better not taking too many percocets and it feels good to be making progress both in location and in exercises.

Tomorrow I'll need to get groceries and do a few other daily life tasks so we'll see how that goes.

I am slowly going crazy, 1 2 3 4 5 6 switch!

2008-09-13T01:23:00.003-04:00

Day 3 post op

Day three, day three.. where to begin. How about the morning.

I woke up at some time in the morning feeling pretty good. In fact, compared to the day before I was feeling great. I had slept wellish, (woke a bit more between my med alarms) and my leg seemed more alive and useable than it had the day before. I got up and decided enough is enough. It was time to get clean. My mother brought a shower chair up to her and my dad's shower that allows you to walk in without taking any big steps. So I crutched over to their bathroom, my two huge and heavy Pantene Pro V bottles and a towel somehow in tow (carrying things while using crutches is a real feat!) and prepared myself. I took a seat on the chair, removed my brace, tossed it aside, and got the water going. From there, because my leg likes to remain straight, I had to leave the glass door ajar while showering. Luckily there were no flash floods in the kitchen later that day. From this position I was very comfortable washing myself and my hair. I tried to keep my wound out of the direct hit of the shower head, and though I soaped around it I didn't do anything to it directly. I later re-read in my FAQs that I should have covered it with a plastic bag but the nurse the other day said nothing of the sort.

All clean and dressed, I made my way downstairs to the couch, feeling pretty worn out from all that intense exertion. There I lay, icing the leg. I think I noticed a tiny bit of fresh blood (two little droplets) escaping from behind the steristrips. The FAQ sheet says that more than a teaspoon is cause for concern. So that was fine. I took some photos of how she looks.

From what I can tell, the bruise is growing. Also, the steristrips are now cleaner than they once were. Is the swelling going up? I cannot tell, but probably. It feels quite stiff and full of whatever swelling consists of. I miss seeing the form of my kneecap. There is also numbness all around my knee and the front and sides of my leg, as well as a lot of heat radiating throughout the wound. Jealous?

Anyway, after this I promptly fell asleep. I think. I can't quite account for the morning, actually. Today was a grey, humid day. It's Steve's birthday and he's back in Hamilton having fun and doing birthday things. Nobody visited. My mom was here taking care of me, and my dad was out and about. My mom and I got bored.

She brought me a bagel and peaches to eat before I fell asleep, and so around lunch time I wasn't too hungry. Nevertheless I thought eating would be a good thing to do so I hobbled about heating up the vegetarian chili she'd made the day before and grating cheese over it. I took a few bites and realized I couldn't eat it. What? Since when does not being hungry stop me from eating?! It was tres bizarre. I felt generally lethargic, kind of clammy, and just unwell.

I can't remember whether I did exercises at this point. I feel like I did but the day is a blur of percocet making me feel pretty crappy. I went up to my room and watched Arrested Development (thanks Emily!) and played facebook scrabble with my brother in Montreal and my mom who kept calling from the other room when I took longer than two minutes to play my turn.

As far as discomfort goes, the bulk of it really was coming from the medication more than the knee. I've been sticking carefully to the two pills every four hours routine and my knee hasn't really been in pain at all, not counting a slight twinge or painful bump every now and then, or the strange heavy/useless feeling it has. I decided to start the process of weaning off the drugs, so I waited five hours instead of four for my next dose. Then the next time I waited six hours. I think I'll stick to two pills every six hours overnight, and tomorrow I'll start on one percocet and one tylenol every six hours. Hmm.. we'll see how that leaves me. I don't want to get the addict shakes or anything.

I was lying in bed chatting on gmail at around 5 or 6 when I started feeling very hot and feverish. My mom came in and got worried, bugging me to go to a walk in clinic. I was pretty sure a fever is relatively common, so I wasn't too concerned, but I hobbled downstairs again and went outside for the first time today, kicking up my feet on the backyard hammock while re-energizing with a delicious frozen apple juice box snack (This is a trick I developed in highschool: freeze the juice box, cut open the top, scrape with a spoon, enjoy!) The fever disappeared immediately! My parents and I sat outside debriefing ever more about Rick and Carina's wedding. I guess when you spend more than a year and a half planning something you don't just let it go like that.

Soon it was suppertime and they went inside to prepare while I iced. I've been trying to ice as often as possible but still I can afford to do it more. I need a personal ice assistant. Any takers? I came into the kitchen and, with newfound frozen apple juice energy, performed almost all my physio exercises! I have a list of things to do given to me at the pre-op. So today I did squats against the wall, sitting on the table bending, and standing with an elastic band stretching the operative leg out to the side and out behind me. I am finding the exercises that focus on bending FAR more difficult than the ones that utelize other muscle groups. Thank you, Body Pump! Working those muscles pre-op was a definitely plus. I wonder what the physiotherapist will say on Monday about my prognosis. I must work on my bends.

So, we ate a lovely dinner of chicken broth and salad (still, my appetite is not quite normal but the soup was a good thing) and then watched Hotel Rwanda and Before Sunrise back to back. I practiced some bending while I watched, and also fell asleep during both, one time dreaming that Romeo and I were in a movie with Ivan Rietman, and when Steve called my cell to say hello during a cut, Ivan answered. Maybe Romeo Dallaire's name came into my dream or something...?

It's now just about two and I should really get to sleep.

I'm planning to return to my downtown home tomorrow though the thought of getting all my stuff back home now is a bit overwhelming. I need my personal ice assistant to come help me out. Steve will be back tomorrow with his car so that'll be good.

Back in Toronto I'll be lonely and sorry for myself. I can already feel the process starting after a lousy day of nothing much like today. Please pay me a visit, friends. I will feel happy.

Lastly, as far as ability, I was able today to walk around with two crutches easily, with one crutch with some effort, and without any crutches shakily for fear of buckling I think, but weight bearing on the bad leg is no biggie.

Let's hope for some further improvement tomorrow! And also some drug weaning! Yay!

Could be worse

2008-09-11T22:04:00.002-04:00

Day 2 post op

After the discomfort I felt yesterday evening, I got more regulated on the percocets (2 pills every four hours on the dot) and have been feeling pretty good today for the most part.

I woke up at around 9:15 having slept like a baby all night except for when I woke to my alarm for more pills. From there I hobbled downstairs and lay on the couch for the morning, talking to my mom and Steve who were still around here for me. They're lovely.

The knee itself wasn't feeling too badly. I think my muscles in my hamstring, quads, and calfs are pretty much useless at this point so my whole leg feels extremely heavy and hard to shlep around. Stairs, walking with crutches, and especially moving on or off my bed or the couch can be quite a challenge without working muscles. Still, that scooping technique, along with taking it slow or having help is working enough.

In addition to that, some parts of my body are feeling weird from the strange angles and muscles I have to use to do ordinary things like get on and off the toilet, sit up, or whatever. My right hip/side abdomen is feeling sore, along with my neck and shoulders.

At around 12 we called Dr. Mark's office to make my 6 week post-surgery appointment and to ask whether I could take off the bulky bandage around my knee. I felt it was compromising the affect of the ice as well as keeping my leg feeling numb, being such a tight bandage. She said I could go ahead and remove it so I did, revealin a swollen, bloodied knee with a bunch of steristrips hiding the actual incision. During the course of the day I could see the swelling increase as well as the bruising around the back of my leg spread. Mmmm mmmm.

I had two visitors today, Jordana and Clara, which was lovely, mom made a veggie chili while I sat at the table keeping her company, Mom, Steve and I played Scrabble outside on the deck, AND we all went out for Swiss Chalet tonight just to get out of the house. It was nice to be out but not really very comfortable or easy. I think it was a bit premature.

In the afternoon, Steve and my mom got on my case about doing some physio exercises. I tried a few (not all.. I got dizzy and had to lay down) from the handout I got at my pre-op. One I did had me seated on the kitchen table and trying to bend my operative knee, using my healthy knee kind of as a weight. This is very difficult because I've been keeping the knee straight in its brace all this time and because gravity is not really my friend. Instead I used my healthy leg as a lowering device, and slowly allowed gravity to bring the leg down to a bend. It wasn't exactly painful per se, but it felt very strange and uncomfortable, like I was forcing my knee to do something it didn't want to do. Despite that feeling, the bend continued to increase until I actually was able to switch my healthy leg to cross of the front of my operative ankle and use it as a bit of a weight to increase the bend.

The other thing I worked on a bit today were 1/4 to 1/3 squats against the wall. I found these to get easier as I went, but had to cut the physio session short due to dizziness and excessive thirst. I probably could have gone harder and should try my best to work to maximum capacity in the future if I want to make this surgery really worthwhile. I'm scared that my physiotherapist will have less patience with me and my reluctance to push too hard. We'll see on Monday.

So, overall my pain management was very good today. No tears, no major issues. Just a bit of serious sleepiness and sensitivity from the drugs. I feel like my hearing is more sensitive at times, and that I'm a bit dizzy, but that's really the extent of the side-effects.

C'est tout pour maintenant. I'm going to sleep early tonight!

Day 2 post op photo op op oppy op

2008-09-11T11:13:00.003-04:00

Mmm... looking good.

what a pain...

2008-09-11T01:17:00.002-04:00

post op day 1

Today was my first day of recovery after the ACL surgery. After that pretty decent sleep in the hospital, I got a ride home with my parents and went up to my room feeling pretty upbeat. I thought I was going to be a lucky one.

Throughout the day I continued feeling pretty good. My appetite was perfectly normal. I was able to "scoop" or use my healthy leg to maneuver my splinted leg onto the couch or the bed. I was easily able to crutch around, up the stairs, to the bathroom, around the hallways of the house... I've been trying to elevate and ice when I can, though I don't think I'm icing as frequently as others do. It's unclear how to ice when my knee is wrapped securely in bandages.

As for medication, I'd taken two percocet equivalents in the hospital at 8:30. The packaging says to take 1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours as needed. So I took 2 tablets four hours later at 12:30. Soon after I took them, right when Wendy was by for a visit, I began feeling clammy and unwell. I lay down and slept, and an hour later was feeling pretty okay again. I then decided it might be better to take one table every three hours, so I took one at 3:30 and again fell asleep for about an hour after that. At 6:30 I took another one and I'm now starting to lose track of what I did.

Later in the evening I started to feel the pain coming on. Up until this point, you must realize, I had not really experienced any pain at all. It was still rather numb around my knee and though I felt some discomfort I never felt pain.

Twice during the day I followed Dr. Mark's plan for physio exercises post surgery day 1. These included pressing the back of my knee down into the ground, 2) bending slightly and pressing my heel into the ground, and using a towel to pull my thigh up and create a bend. This straightened out leg does not particularly want to do a thing like bending.

Now I feel pain. It is surrounding the front of my knee cap, I guess where the patellar tendon was removed, and despite the two percocet tablets I took at 11:30, it never really diminished. Or maybe it did. I can't quite remember. With one hour to go until another round of pills at 3:30, I know that I'm feeling the burn of pain in my knee in a way that makes me feel sorry for myself.

I guess I couldn't expect to be so lucky I felt no pain, right?

Ouch, Charlie.

Pic-a-tures

2008-09-10T12:33:00.002-04:00

On the way.

Before heading into surgery.

The morning after - I dressed myself!

Express wheelchair service outta there.

Surgery Day Report

2008-09-10T10:49:00.002-04:00

I'm home a day after surgery feeling quite comfortable and ready to tell you all about the day.

My ma and pa drove me to the hospital and we got there just on time for my admission time. We went to the reception desk for the same day surgery area, checked in, and then waited for about twenty minutes before I was called. My parents were told to wait in the waiting room until I had been all prepped up.

I was led into a large room with rows of beds divided by privacy curtains and as I walked through I saw a bunch of people in them, most with visitors, waiting I suppose for their surgeries to begin. I was led to my little bed and given a gown, little booties, and a bag to put all my stuff in. You have to take of EVERYTHING - no make up, nail polish, jewellery of any kind, false teeth, underwear, etc. etc. I had forgotten to remove my nose ring so I did it then.

Once I was all changed and ready to go I sat on the edge of my bed feeling jittery. Looking around there were cabinets full of different syringes and needles, monitors, an IV bag thing, and all kinds of medical things that made me feel nervous. A few minutes later a nurse came in and checked my blood pressure and heart rate. At the same time as she was doing that on my left side, another guy, who was an aneasthesiologist I think, was on my right. He explained to me that they were going to give me a nerve block to numb the entire knee area for 8 - 12 hours so that I'd feel no pain. No pain sounds good to me but I was a bit weary of the process of nerve blocking.

Back to my left side, I joked with the nurse as she asked me various questions about my health, saying that I like her, but not the others on my right who were wiping up my thigh and readying me for the block. She laughe and said that I wouldn't like her for much longer, as she brought out a needle for my IV. She did all the standard IV things: tied a band around my arm, had me squeeze my fist, slapped my popping out vein. (I have great veins for things like these. They jump right out at ya!) Then she jabbed me with the needle and got all of that stuff in order. This was probably the most painful part of it all thus far.

Back to the right side, the guy explained to me some of the risks associated with the nerve block. 2 out of 100 patients feel numb for longer than the 8 - 12 hours. And 1 in 10,000 feel numbness forever. He gave me some oral painkillers and some sedatives through the IV to "take the edge off." I wasn't sure if I felt sedated but I can't quite remember the entire nerve-blocking experience so I guess the edge was taken off.

He used an ultrasound to locate the nerve leading to my knee and then poked me a few times with a needle I guess (I was watching the ultrasound screen), injecting anaesthetic right in there. I could see the fluid spreading which was kind of cool. Though I had been pretty nervous about the nerve block it was no big deal and nothing for you, future patients, to worry about.

I was all prepped and my parents were allowed to come hang out for a bit. Dr. Marks came by to say hello and so did a handful of other people involved in the procedure whom I can't recall.

My surgery time was set for 1:15 and at about 1:20 I was wheeled out of the prep room. My parents kissed me goodbye, and with a few tears, off I went. Some fellow was wheeling me and making small talk as we went, until we arrived in the operating room. I was asked to shift from the stretcher I was on to the operating table, which felt kind of weird as my leg was already numb from the block. The room was large and full of strange and wonderful things. I noticed the stools they attached to the side of the bed that I guess they'd be working from. At this point, though my mind was pretty at ease, my body was trembling all over. It was a bizarre sensation. I told the aneasthesiologist about it and she covered me with a papery blanket that filled up with warm air an felt quite nice. She put a mask over my mouth and nose for oxygen and filled my IV with the good stuff. I looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember the sensation. I felt my vision kind of blur and I think I was out in less than a minute.

When I woke up it was I think around 5:00, only three and a half hours later. They told us the surgery would take 2.5 to 3 hours and the time in the recovery room would take the same. I think I woke up pretty quickly. I remember thinking that I wanted to wake up so I could go see my parents and Steve ASAP. They would be waiting!! Despite that, I drifted in and out of sleep for a bit, listening to the two nurses chat at the foot of my bed. I think I mentioned my work to them, and compared this kind of nursing with nursinng in a Long Term Care Facility. They also talked about me when they thought I was sleeping, and I opened one eye and said, "I heard that," making them laugh.

Oh, my knee was wrapped in a huge amount of bandage and tensor with a big grey splint over everything. I felt absolutely no pain at all; mostly just numbness.

After some time I was wheeled into the SSU (Short Stay Unit) where I was transfered to another bed. How wonderful and comfortable it was! I love the hospital. They told me that my family was not in the waiting room. They had gone home and expected that the whole thing would take longer. I called them and they were on their way. I think Steve arrived at 6:30 and was happy to find me cheerful and relatively alert. My parents came by soon after. We all hung out and talked and had a good time. I was still pain free and happy to be done with the surgery itself.

They brought me dinner - krunchy fish, veggies, potatoes, carrot cake, grape juice, and tea, but I wasn't really feeling hungry (despite not eating since 11:30 the night before) and I was afraid of getting sick to my stomach like everyone seems to. The aneasthesiologist said she'd give me something to prevent sickness. I was hoping she wasn't the damn dirty liar she turned out to be. Instead, right after I drank my grape juice I got rid of my grape juice. Then cried like a baby for some reason. Then was fine again and ate my whole meal without problems.

My parents left at around 8 and though visiting hours are over at 8:30, Steve was allowed to stay until past 9:30 which was great. We just hung out and chatted. It was really nice to have the company! Thanks for braving a tw0-hour traffic jam for me, Stevie! :)

Oh, I also was encouraged by the nurse to go to the washroom so after eating I crutched over and it was really no problem. My leg didn't hurt at all and I could put some weight on it already. Then again, the nerve block hasn't stopped working.

He left and I worked on a crossword puzzle for maybe fifteen minutes before falling asleep. Asleep at 10:00? How wonderful!

I woke up maybe every hour or so during the night but had what felt like a good sleep nevertheless. I think I had to use the bathroom two or three times in the night which isn't typical. I also got some meds throughout the night. The nurses were very helpful and friendly.

So I woke up at around 6 or so, read some fashion and celebrity gossip magazines, visited with my doctor who said everything went fine, had my bandages changed and got a good look at my knee which was swollen and bloody and gross, dressed myself, and got picked up by my parents.

We stopped at the drug store on the way home, got the lovely percocets I'll be taking, and came home. Ahhh, home. I came right upstairs to my bedroom (stairs no problem with crutches), feeling dizzy and tired out but still pain free and generally fine.

And now here I am.

I made it! Yay!

For those of you reading this on Facebook, don't mind the excessive details. I'm writing this really for future ACL surgery patients who want to know what they're up for, and just thought some of my friends might be interested too.

Hmm.. what to do now?

2008-09-09T09:37:00.001-04:00

note to future patients: I do NOT recommend shaving your legs using the pre-operative soap as shaving cream.

It's burning.

:(

And so we've arrived

2008-09-09T09:01:00.002-04:00

It's surgery day!

I've been walking around the house trying to think of what difficulties I'll have when I get home tomorrow. I've been thinking about what I should do right now besides perusing Facebook just like I'll be stuck doing when I get home tomorrow.

With less than two hours before my mom and I head to the hospital, I've got a few things left that I have to do.

I've got to shower again with the special pre-operative soap - which I found.

I've got to prepare the things I'll need in the hospital overnight.

I've got to change my sheets and do a few other tasks like that. Oh, I still need to get something for icing my knee once I'm home.

I'll be staying overnight in the hospital and hopefully coming home first thing tomorrow morning. And that's it for now.

Oh, except I want to measure the circumference of my thigh and calf before the swelling and the muscle loss... what fun! Let me go do that now.

Thigh: 19.2 inches
Calf: 15.2 inches

Wish me luck!!

xo

Tomorrow it is!

2008-09-08T21:41:00.004-04:00

My surgery time, I found out today, is 1:15 tomorrow afternoon. I am to arrive at Sunnybrook at 11:15. I'm still feeling okay about it, though I'm trying to mind my thumping heart reacting to those words I just typed.

Really, though, I'm feeling okay. I got a bunch of calls from a bunch of cool friends, and I've got my materials all set up.

Books from Wendy to read.
DVDs from Bhavnita, Wendy, Romeo, and Emily to watch.

Magazines from Steve and my boss to flip through.

So I'm all set. I just ate my last snack before it's too late (an apple dessert from the wedding my mom apparently had been coveting - sorry mom!) and now I must go shower with some special anti-bacterial soap the nurse gave me at pre-op. Only I don't know where it is or whether I left it at my place downtown.

Oh, by the way, I'm at my parents house in the 'burbs and plan to be for the rest of the week. Call or visit if you please! :)

Also, my brother's wedding was fantasticly wonderful and amazing. Hooray! I've hardly slept all weekend and I'm hurting from it! I think I'll appreciate some good old anaesthetics.

New Camera Hooray!

2008-09-05T14:40:00.003-04:00

Brother Ricky's getting hitched this weekend, the surgery will provide ample photo ops, I'm going to Mexico in a few months, and a few months later there will be a new baby in our family!

Not to mention the fact that my one year old Olympus is the bane of my existence.

So, yesterday I bought myself a present. And it pleases me to no end.

Here are some test shots comparing Old Olympy to New Canonita.

Test shot 1: Old Olympy

vs New Canonita

Old Olympy!
And new Canonita!
Who knew inanimate objects could bring me so much joy. With this camera, my bed, and my coffee table, not even knee surgery can get me down!!

PS: Four days until surgery. I'm starting to feel the tingles of nervousness returning.

One week to go!

2008-09-02T14:30:00.005-04:00

Ack! Time goes by very quickly! It is now only one week exactly until my ACL surgery.

This weekend I took a trip to Montreal so that I could get in as much biking, walking, and eating as possible before the big day arrives.

While I was at it I took some leg photographs so I can remember them as they once were in their unscarred glory.

Might I remind you it's my right knee that's having all the fun.

What, you didn't expect this experience to be free of melodrama, did you?

Pre-Op Part 2: The physiotherapist visit

2008-08-26T15:27:00.002-04:00

Today I had my final pre-op meeting at the hospital, two weeks exactly before the big day. So, back to Sunnybrook I trekked, this time looking for C wing ground level. I arrived at the receptionist's window with five minutes to spare and she asked me to take a seat in the waiting room. Nobody else was there. This looked to be an out-patient physiotherapy clinic and maybe a fracture clinic too.

I was called in and greeted by a friendly physiotherapist whose name I can't recall. She had me take a seat and then went to get a pair of crutches from across the room, returning and adjusting them for me. She instructed me on how to walk (crutch, bad leg, good leg, repeat) and how to take stairs (good leg first on the way up, bad leg first on the way down.) People say they HATE crutches and though they seemed fine and almost fun on the first trial, I'm sure the novelty will quickly wear off.

Next she gave me a few different handouts of information. One interesting thing I learned is that I'm having the bone-tendon-bone graft type which takes a piece of my patellar tendon instead of my hamstring. For some reason I had been assuming the opposite all this time and I'd been working to strengthen the hammy. No harm there, I'm sure, but now I must do some research on the patellar tendon graft.

I also got a list of frequently asked questions for this surgery, prepared by my surgeon, Dr. Paul Marks. Here it is for your reading pleasure:

Q: How long will I be in hospital?
A: Typically, you will stay in the hospital overnight and go home the morning after your surgery.

Q: When can I start walking?
A: You will be walking with crutches and a splint/brace on your leg by the time you leave the hospital. You may put as much weight on your leg as is comfortable and slowly increase the weight over the first few days until you are fully weight bearing.

Q: How long do I have to be on crutches?
A: Until you get permission to walk without them from Dr. Marks or when the therapist tells you there is good quadriceps control.

Q: How long will I have to wear a brace/splint?
A: Dr. Marks will tell you when you can start walking without the brace. This is usually within six weeks of your surgery and is largely dependent upon muscle control and comfort. You do not need to sleep with the brace.

Q: When should I see my physiotherapist?
A: As soon as you know the date of your surgery, you should book an appointment with the physiotherapist of your choice within the first week after your surgery. Please provide the physiotherapist with the exercise guide given to you at your physiotherapy pre-admission appointment at the hospital. In the meantime, focus on the home exercises given to you in the hospital.

Q: Should I use ice?
A: Yes. You can apply ice for twenty minutes and then take it off for one hour while awake. Keep the knee elevated above your heart.

Q: When can I drive?
A: You can drive as soon as you feel safe and comfortable. You should practice driving in the parking lot first. If you have a right knee surgery then driving will be delayed approximately six weeks.

Q: When can I return to work/school?
A: You may return to a sedentary job or school as soon as you are comfortable. If your job is more physically demanding, you should discuss your return to work date with Dr. Marks.

Q: When can I return to sports?
A: Once again, this should be discussed with Dr. Marks. Typically, you are looking at a timeline of approximately six months before returning to vigorous sports or sports that require a lot of direction change i.e. soccer or basketball (or ultimate!) There are many sports that you can begin prior to this i.e. jogging, cycling, ice skating, etc. Dr. Marks and your physiotherapist will guide you on the specifics. A brace may be recommended for certain activities.

Q: How big is the incision?
A: The incision varies depending on the procedure that you have. If your repair is one using your patellar tendon, the incision is approximately 5 centimeters (2 inches) long and slightly off centre of your knee below your knee cap. If the repair is done using your hamstring tendons, you will have 1 small incision 2 - 4 centimeters long on the inside of your leg below your knee. You will also have 2 small marks on either side of your knee just below the knee cap for the instruments involved in this repair.

Q: will I have a lot of pain?
A: Some discomfort after a surgical procedure is to be expected. The amount of discomfort varies widely from person to person. All attempts will be made to minimize discomfort both immdiately after the procedure and for the first few days at home. While in the hospital it is important that you inform the staff if you are in pain. When you are discharged home, you will be given a prescription for pain medication that can be filled at any community pharmacy. While at home, please follow the pharmacist's instructions for use of the medication.

Q: How long is the operation?
A: The operation itself takes 1 - 2 hours. Most patients will recover in the post anaesthetic care unit (PACU) for up to 2 hours before returning to the same day surgery unit where you began your day.

Q: How do I take care of the incision?
A: If you have steristrips on the incision, leave them in place until they fall off naturally or for a maximum of 10 days. You should make an appointment with your family doctor for 7-10 days after your surgery for removal of any stitches. The blue stitch needs to be pulled out from one end. Do not cut the ends off as the stitch below the skin is not absorbable.

Q: When can I take a bath or shower?
A: You should shower/wash with mild soap and avoid soaking in a tub until the incision is closed, clean, and dry. This is usually when the steristrips fall off and/or the stitches are out. Dry the incision carefully after exposure to water. If you take a shower, cover the incision with a plastic bag and tape. Be careful not to slip in the tub.

Q: When do I go to see Dr. Marks again?
A: You will be given a follow-up appointment with Dr. Marks when you are discharged from the hospital.

***

FAQs are useful! Maybe I knew almost all of this stuff already, but it feels good to have it in writing from my own doctor.

I also got a list of post-op exercises to start doing about a day or two after surgery, as well as some information for the physiotherapist I end up choosing.

The appointment was over in no time and I was back on the bus heading home, crutches in hand. I wonder if people thought I was walking very well for a girl holding crutches.

So, two more weeks left to go. My "strong-legs" exercise plan is kind of on hold to accomodate a very busy weekend and a subsequent head cold that's got me feeling pretty lousy. This weekend Steve and I are heading to Montreal for one last hurrah before Rick's wedding and then my planned immobility.

What fun!

More to come pre-op: "before" photos and leg measurements! Wow!

Pre-op

2008-08-19T19:38:00.004-04:00

Three weeks to go!!!

I went for my pre-op surgery. Let me describe it a la fieldnotes styles:

Arriving more than half an hour early, I killed some time by perusing Sunnybrook's gift shop (hmm.. nothing struck me.. you'll have to plan ahead to please this patient) and ordering myself a medium cafe latte from the lobby Second Cup. I'm not a coffee drinker by training. I sat in the little seating area drinking my coffee and reading my book for about half an hour until I was only fifteen minutes early and I felt comfortable heading down to the room I was told to go to.

Once inside, the woman at the desk didn't even ask my name, directing me instead to head to the back two rows of quite a large waiting room bustling with people and activity. I think it was a waiting room for anyone having blood work done, but the last two rows were for we special pre-operative patients.

I waited for maybe thirty minutes more, reading my book and feeling my heart rate escalate as the minutes ticked by. Was it the realization that this surgery was really going to happen? The nurses were going back and forth calling out the names of people, doing unknown, likely terrible things to them behind closed curtains! Ahhh! Maybe it was just the foreign caffeine seeping into my veins and screwing with my equilibrium. Either way, I don't like hospital waiting rooms.

Finally a woman came and beckoned for me to follow her. We went down the hall just slightly where a scale was waiting. She weighed me in my shoes and jeans and breakfast weight! Ugh! How totally unfair. She also measured me and I'd like to report that I am indeed 183 centimeters tall. An online centimeters to feet converstion calculator has confirmed it: I am 6.04'! Holy toledo. Gone are the days that I think I am 5'11 and 3/4. I dig it.

The woman then asked me a bunch of insignificant questions about my address and emergency contact numbers.

She led me to a small examination room where I was soon met by a young thin girl calling herself an anethesiologist. She asked me about any allergies and medications I am on, asked me to bend my head back and forward, looked in my wide open mouth, and listened to my breathing. She asked about various health things like the state of my heart and the history of family issues regarding anethestics.

She also mentioned some kind of pain relieving injection that I will be offered the day of the surgery. Apparently they lead a camera into some area of my upper thigh so they can inject something into the nerve leading directly to the source of pain. Apparently I didn't really get good details, eh? She said this is a relatively new method of pain control and she made it seem like it would replace the need for narcotic pain relievers. This strikes me as odd since the few people I know who have gone through this surgery themselves all mentioned the drugs they were doped up on. I asked whether most people accept this new pain reliever (which apparently may cause nerve damage or bleeding...) and she said they do.

Finally, a nurse came along and checked my blood pressure and then gave me some information about my surgery. This is what I learned:

For two days before my surgery I am to bathe with a special anti-septic soap that I was given today (for free!) On Monday September 8th I will receive a call between 1pm and 3pm to let me know what time my surgery is the following day. This could be as early as 6am. I am to arrive on the 9th two hours before my surgery so that the nurses can properly "prep me", whatever that means, or so that I can suffer from a heart attack while I wait. I should remember to bring slippers and a toothbrush with me to the hospital. Only two people are allowed to accompany me to the hospital. I am not to eat any food past midnight the day before my surgery but clear liquids are permitted until some time before surgery which I forget. I am instructed to brush my teeth the day of surgery. I may or may not spend the night in the hospital depending on the time of the surgery and I guess how I do in the recovery room. I am not to wear any scented anything, any jewellery, or any make-up. That's all I know. I forgot to ask what to wear on my big day.

She gave me three mostly useless pamphlets; one about anethestics, one about pain management, and one about all the stuff I just wrote.

And that was it! No blood work, urine sample, or anything at all invasive. A walk in the park, really.

And - lucky me - I get to return next week for my physiotherapy appointment where I'll get to hear about all the fun post-surgery stuff. Can't wait for that part.

Gotta hit the gym!

workin' it and appointments

2008-08-14T14:09:00.002-04:00

So far so good with the "Serious Legs" plan. I've done Bodypump twice this week, walked my dog, biked up a big hill, and swam a bunch of laps.

Bodypump has two sections devoted to lots of squats and lunges, as well as dead lifts which are apparently good for the hamstrings. I did a quick search today and found a few more hamstring exercises that I'll incorporate into the mix. I also have to do some more balance work and stretching, I think. I wonder if I'll get fat after surgery when I can't do cardio.

I got a call from the surgeon's office today and now have a pre-op appointment booked for Tuesday at 10:30 so that's kind of exciting. Then the following Tuesday I have an appointment with the physiotherapist at Sunnybrook where they will set me up with crutches, a brace, and information about what to do immediately following surgery.

Everything's falling into place.

I don't feel nervous about it anymore. Not like I did when I got the first surgery date offer at least. I've come to grips with the reality of things and will certainly be a scared sissy when the time is right. :)

Four weeks to go

2008-08-11T19:33:00.002-04:00

With only four week to go until my surgery, I'm feeling the time crunch to get my muscles in as top shape as possible in order to ease recovery.

Before I go on about that, I just want to say that I have found this whole process to be very strange so far. Nobody has really given me much information and though the internet is of course a rich resource, I still have not received any details about any of this from my doctor or surgeon. When the surgeon told me the MRI confirmed my torn ACL he asked, "so what do you want to do?" Having done some independent research, I knew that I wanted to play sports in the future so I knew I wanted surgery. But I would have liked some advice and some pros and cons. The surgeon didn't even know whether or not OHIP covers physio for ACL injuries. It doesn't.

Last week a guy I know recommended a physiotherapist in my neighbourhod and, thinking I'd be proactive, I called the clinic to see about making an appointment. They said that I need a reference from my doctor but that making an appointment a few days before I want my first meeting would be fine. I called my surgeon and the receptionist told me that the doctor will give me a reference the day of the surgery. It all seems so laid back and casual to me. I would have thought the physio would want to meet me before the surgery and test my strength or take a look at the state of my knee before I arrive a few days after surgery. I guess this is the way it's done...

So anyway, I believe I need to pay special attention to stengthening my hamstrings, quads, and calves. I plan to work out every single day for the next four weeks to accomplish this goal as well as to be in top form for my bridesmaid's dress.

Today I did a Bodypump class where we do LOTS of squats and lunges. I currently use 17 kilograms on the bar for squats and 7 kilograms on the bar for lunges. I hope to increase this weight over the next few weeks. Let's make my goal 20 kilograms and 1o kilograms for now and see if I can increase that even beyond my goal.

I also did 20 minutes on the elliptical.

I hope to atted 2 bodypump classes a week to work on muscle strength, 2 bodyflow classes a week to work on flexibility and balance, and to do cardio and any other leg strenthening I feel may be lacking, like some exercises I remember from a physio appointment I had months ago. I feel like I have good strength now but any improvement I can make now will be helpful.

Surgery confirmed

2008-08-06T18:45:00.001-04:00

My surgery is confirmed for Tuesday, September 9th, 2008.

Here we go!

I've got a date

2008-08-04T00:18:00.002-04:00

I listened to my telephone messages on Friday afternoon just as I was leaving the city for the weekend. I hadn't realized that I'd missed a call from an unknown number.

It was the girl from Dr. Marks' office calling to offer me a surgery date: September 9th.

The weekend before will be quite something, for my brother is getting hitched. The rehearsal dinner is September 4th. The bachelorette party is September 5th. The pre-wedding party is September 6th. The big day is September 7th. The out of towner brunch in September 8th. And I'll go in for a reconstructed ACL on September 9th.

Nothing like something to look forward to during all the festivities.

I'll call and accept the date when the office is open on Monday.

Now, what to do in the five weeks and two days before? I hear I should strengthen them legs.

A channel news covers ACL injuries...

2008-07-23T18:46:00.002-04:00

I waited for 45 minutes to learn this:

People tear their ACLs playing soccer and ball hockey.

More and more women are seeing this injury as women get more and more active.

It's a minimally invasive day surgery.

Rehab is "pretty quick". You get most of your range of motion back in 4 to 6 weeks and you can get back on the field by 6 months.

Well, there you have it.

As luck would have it...

2008-07-23T11:17:00.002-04:00

There's a television program on ACLs and surgeries and things tonight in Toronto on the A channel which I believe is channel 17. It's on at 6pm.

I never ever watch that channel but yesterday I did and saw the ad for tonight's special. Amazing.

I'll let you know what I learn.

Money concerns...

2008-07-17T11:04:00.002-04:00

I have no health insurance and very little savings. OHIP covers the cost of surgery, but as far as I know physio and all other associated costs are my own problem. I emailed a guy I know to find out about his expenses during the same surgery a few months ago.

Here's the response I got:

1) Costs of Rehab
Typically physio would cost $90 for an initial assessment, and then $55 for subsequent visits. Typically just after the surgery, you would be going to the physio twice a week, and then at some point that goes down to once a week, or once every other week. During the early stages, the physio is working with you to rebuild some of the muscle that you are losing on your involved leg, and work on your ROM (range of motion), and to get your swelling down. They'll probably be hooking you up to some electro-stim and carefully monitoring your post-op progress.Once the first month is under your belt, then you are getting into more advanced rehab, at which point physio becomes more of a supervised exercise regime, which you continue on your own at home on the other days of the week. I probably spent upwards of $1400 on physio, but I have health coverage that covers me for most of it.So if cost is a concern, you can explain that to the physio. So in that respect, you can ask to do more stuff at home (of which you'll be doing plenty of anyway) and only come in for status updates and corrections to your physio regime. Physio in a hospital is covered by OHIP, but I am unsure about the details of how you actually get that. It would be worth talking to surgeon about that one, because perhaps he/she can write you a script for it.

2) Knee Braces
Custom-made knee braces are very expensive. They cost in the $1400-1600 range from my experience, and my health coverage doesn't cover it. Whether or not you get a knee brace depends on a few factors: the outcome of the surgery, the types of activities you want to resume post-surgery, the cost. My surgeon and physio recommended that I did get a knee brace if I was to return to activities that require quick start/stopping or rotations. Things like: skiing, soccer, squash. However, at this point I'm OK with being able to do the more knee-friendly activities: swimming, walking, cycling, hiking. I've decided to postpone the decision of getting a knee brace for now.

One thing to remember is that typically people get measured for a custom knee-brace BEFORE surgery because post-surgery your measurements are off. First because of swelling, then because of muscle atrophy. So if you don't get measured before, expect to wait at least 4-6 months so that your muscles get back to regular size before getting fitted for a knee-brace.There are non-custom knee-braces that cost in the $400-600 range. As well as simple over-the-counter ones you can buy at Shoppers for $40 that can also help, but won't provide the same kind of support as a thin space aged custom deal.

3) Other costs
I've heard of some people being hooked up to ice-machines or machines that passively exercise your ROM post-surgery. I didn't do either of those things, so I can't really speak to that. What I did buy at Shoppers is a simple ice-pack that has a velcro strap and you can swap in soft ice-packs. I highly recommend one of these puppies, they only cost like $20 and I still use it to this day after a lot of activity.I did spend a lot on taxi's. But I was rehab'ing in the winter, and petrified of falling on ice/snow. Also, thankfully, my company paid for taxi's to/from work. ;)

4) Pre-surgery
Doing physio to build up the muscles pre-op can help with your recovery post-op. You will lose a lot of muscle on your involved leg in the weeks after the surgery. Even though it doesn't seem all that intuitive to build up muscle just to lose it, the more you have, the less you lose.Let me know if you have any other questions, and I'll do my best to help out. I can also give you more tips/advice for the days/weeks immediately post-op too, so let me know when that date approaches.

Reality hits

2008-07-15T15:50:00.002-04:00

Since March I've been able to pretty much forget about my knee problem and my impending surgery. I had no contact at all with the surgeon and I carried on with things.

I attended one physio session to learn some pre-surgery exercises to do and then never really did them. But I have been working out at a gym doing lots of things that basically coincide with the physio things. Balance practice at yoga, muscle strenthening with squats.. you get the pictures. It's been going so well that I never really even feel the lack of stability. I have even been jogging on the treadmill a few times with no problems!

There are things I don't do though, like play ultimate, rollerblade, run at full speed, play soccer, do any of the the cardio classes... make plans to go skiing in the winter. So whenever I wonder whether the surgery is really worth it I ask myself whether I want to do those things again. And I do.

Today, maybe about 4 months after deciding to go ahead with surgery, I got a call from Dr. Marks' office, offering me August 5th as my surgery date. My heart sank. Tears sprung to my eyes. It hadn't occurred to me in a while that this was still happening.

Also, August 5th is only 3 weeks away. Also, it would cut my summer short. Also, my brother Rick gets married on September 7th and that would suck. Also, I'm scared! Like, scared.

I called them back and asked what would happen if I turned down August 5th. "You'd get a September surgery date instead."

Perfect. Sign me up. September is perfect. The summer is coming to a close. It gives me enough time to get off crutches before the snow falls. I'm probably not too busy at work (hell, when am I?)

So yeah, now I know that this is coming up. It's scary, but a vague September date is better than a too-soon August one.

Here we go!

No knee action to speak of

2008-05-12T00:19:00.002-04:00

I have no knee news for all you kind folks out there today.

Happily, my mother is having herself a surgery of her own in only 11 days. In fact, she's having a double knee replacement surgery. She'll be having quite the experience I'm sure, spending ten days in the hospital and three months recuperating before returning to work. In honour of her newfound spare time and quest for health, I have set her up with a blog of her own. Check her out and do send her some encouraging comments if you're so inclined.

Today was mother's day and to celebrate my dad made lobster which we've never done at home before ever, I don't think. It's not a particularly common dish in the Jewish household. Our nutcrackers didn't work all that well and we all decided that we much prefer steak. No claws.

Speaking of which, my family is in week 6 of an incredible and wonderful weight loss contest. Since we began we've lost a collective 45 pounds or so! There are weekly weigh-ins and monetary prizes and all kinds of excitment!! Tomorrow, being Monday is the official weekly weigh-in and I fear all that raw cookie dough and baked muffin mix will catch up with me. :(

This week I will be... the biggest loser! Damn it.

testing photos 1, 2, 3

2008-05-10T10:16:00.002-04:00

Hmm... that was a slllooooww upload. I hoped Blogger would have done some self-improvement over the last couple of years.

This is my new kitchen in my shiny, new home. I love it.

where it's at

2008-05-10T00:29:00.003-04:00

So I've been torn in the ACL region now since the middle of December. That's almost five months! Hardly believable.

I hardly notice the injury at all, in fact. It's really only the sports that I can't do, as well as the running on the treadmill that I used to do.

Anything streamlined is A-OK; walking, elliptical things, yoga, weights, etc. etc. I can go up and down stairs, I can sit and kneel and do all that stuff. I can even jog. But I can't run at full speed or cut or kick. I guess that's the problem.

Sometimes I wonder whether I should do this surgery. But really, I do want to run at full speed. Don't I?

I'm trying to decide whether I want this blog to be solely about the surgery or about other things too.

I'll consider.

Setting the Scene

2008-05-09T14:25:00.003-04:00

It was winter 2002. Scratch that. It was the beginning of spring 2002. And I was at Talisman Resort with Matt who was competing in a series of ski competitions. This was the last one which involved I THINK the half pipe but who can really be sure.

I was skiing down a smooth and creamy run when suddenly my right ski caught something, pulling my leg out and back. I crumpled. I heard a pop but didn't know what that meant. Fuck. A snowboarder cruising by stopped and asked me if I was okay. "I don't think so," I said shakily. Unsure of what to do, I sat for a moment riding out the pain, then carefully stood up. I could see Matt at the bottom of the hill walking as quickly as he could in those cumbersome ski boots up to meet me. Together I hobbled to the bottom of the pipe, my knee slipping left and right on the way, where I sat for the rest of the afternoon.

I forget whether he came first or second in the series.

Returning home, I endured a hospital visit, months of limping and discomfort, a few doctors visits and finally an MRI, with diagnoses ranging from nothing serious to fully torn Anterior Cruiate Ligament to partially torn Anterior Cruciate Ligament. The latter is what seemed to stick, and for the last six years I've been pretty much unawares of my knee or any injury I had sustained.

Last spring I started playing ultimate frisbee. I love it! It's great. In June I sprained my ankle. I hate it. It's bad. I now wear a brace. In mid December my knee went one way when I went another and I suddenly remembered my ACL injury of yesteryear.

It hurt far less and the limping ceased after only days, but clearly something was askew.

A trip to the sport's medicine doctor in January left me with a likely fully torn ACL diagnosis and an MRI appointment. Plus physio for which I have no coverage. The MRI confirmed the bad news and since around March I've been on the waiting list to have surgery with the esteemed Dr. Marks, who, by the way, is the lead surgeon for the Raptor's.

Basically at this point I'm waiting for a call that will say, "hey, we have a spot available on Tuesday". I could perhaps be calling to pester my way into a sooner spot, but I'm happy living my life relatively normally (though sans ultimate). On the other hand, the sooner I have the surgery, the sooner I'll be healed and back on the field.

Do I really care about getting back on the field? Sure. Having a goal makes this so much more worthwhile.

Then again, I could just take up rowing...

the new blogging me

2008-05-09T14:23:00.002-04:00

I used to have a blog that I wrote in every day, and when I look back on it and read those things that I wrote in those days I feel happy nostalgia among other things (fear of tiny Korean children being one of them). With a new, somewhat less glamorous adventure on the horizon, let's see what I can cook up here.